


You've Got Mail

by PhazonFire



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Accidentally flirting with a robot, M/M, Sexting, Ye Olde Morning Wood, diodeshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 07:17:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11641653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhazonFire/pseuds/PhazonFire
Summary: Raunchy texts don't go so well when you've got the wrong number.





	You've Got Mail

**Author's Note:**

> Based off something I pray to god I never do by accident.

Smartphones were still a generally new concept to Ash, to be entirely honest. 

Despite numerous explanations from Clemont on all aspects of every app, along with thirteen different ways to change one’s wallpaper, the contacts function still had a nasty habit of changing numbers around. Combined with a bad memory, keeping track of whose number corresponded to whom was a disaster for the technologically-impaired trainer. Fortunately, Clemont was fairly easy to identify, residing under the title of a singular heart emoji rather than his actual name. 

At least, Ash was pretty sure that was Clemont under that contact name. 

With the door locked and everyone else (including Clemont himself) downstairs prepping for the day, Ash had some substantial morning-oriented prepping of his own to do--and he didn’t intend on keeping it to himself. Despite the ever-chilling weather, Ash’s awful cases of morning wood had only increased. Even on days when he woke up first, he didn’t dare get out of bed until Serena and Bonnie were either out of the room or he could be confident they were sound asleep. However, Clemont had always been an early riser, often being out of bed by 5 AM or so on any given day. Fortunately, Clemont’s early bird attitude gave Ash one less person to hide from. 

Which was disappointing, as that was the only person he didn’t want to hide from. 

One zipper and three artificial camera sounds later, Ash had captured the magnificent and picturesque image of a sunrise boner, stiff and mildly throbbing, in all its pixelated glory. Inserted into a text message, he quickly tapped in an accompanying “winky-face” emoji before mashing the send button. His manhood resheathed within its denim lair, Ash slipped the phone back into his pocket before unlocking the bedroom door and bounding down the stairs, eager for breakfast. 

It wasn’t until his fourth pancake that he felt the phone vibrate. 

Seated beside Bonnie, who had taken it upon herself to completely clear every last waffle from the table, no one objected to Ash sliding his phone out under the table. He struggled to conceal a smirk as his eyes scanned the somewhat-sarcastic response of “ _photograph has been saved to Lumiose Gym picture files_.” 

“ _You’re such a tease_ ,” Ash tapped back, tossing a heart emoji in for good measure. Surprisingly, there was no vibration from Clemont’s pocket. Unlike Ash, he seemed to have enough manners to mute his phone at the table. 

It wasn’t until Ash had started washing the dishes that he felt his phone vibrate. 

“ _Would you care to send another photograph?_ ” the message taunted, mildly exciting Ash. 

“ _You’d love that, wouldn’t you_?” he replied with one hand, half-tempted to take another picture should be find a moment of privacy. 

This time, the response was almost immediate. “ _I do enjoy receiving your texts. Please send more._ ”

Too far. Ash twisted the sink’s knobs and furiously devoted both hands to graphic sexual text taunting. “ _Yeah? How about you get plenty of that tonight after the girls fall asleep? You get to be on bottom again, and I get to make you scream my name. Man, it turns me on so much when you say my name, you know that_?” Almost as soon as he’d tapped send, the response had been ready and waiting. Clemont’s typing speed was beginning to impress Ash at this point. 

“ _Please continue. Tell me more_ ,” the text teased. 

Ash could hardly stand the concept of waiting for that night, merely texting back “ _oh, you’ll get more alright,_ ” before returning the phone to his pocket and dashing across the hall to Clemont’s bedroom, knocking lightly on the door. 

“Yes?”

“Open the door, Clemont,” Ash commanded. 

No sooner had Clemont turned the knob than Ash had tackled the boy to the floor, tugging at his jumpsuit zipper. “You want more, huh? I’ll show you more,” he growled. 

Struggling against involuntary whimpers, Clemont stuttered in response. “W-W-Where did this come from all of a sudden?”

“You’re so cute when you act innocent,” Ash whispered. “It’s kinda hot.”

“No, I mean it,” Clemont continued, squirming under Ash’s touch. “This is sudden, even for you.”

Ash rolled off of Clemont, whipping his phone out of his pocket once more. “Explain these,” he teased, shoving the recent raunchy text log into Clemont’s face. 

As though Clemont’s silence wasn’t indicative enough of an issue, he sighed, too. “Ash, my number ends with a 9, not a 0.”

Ash felt the blood flush from his face and a few other places. “Wh…”

“That extension is for the Lumiose Gym,” Clemont continued, zipping up his jumpsuit. “It’s an automatic messaging AI for trainers with questions about upcoming gym battles and whatnot.”

“So that’s...Clembot?” Ash asked with a blush. 

“Sure is. Congratulations on sexting my robot.”

Ash sighed deeply. “It just answers questions, right?”

“Yeah, no worries. The responses are automated and pre-programmed. It’s also got a pretty neat little feature in it too for questions that can’t be answered, or for files that aren’t solely text.”

Ash flopped down onto the floor, feeling the first signs of a headache. “Yeah? Like picture files?”

“Mhm. Clembot can’t analyze pictures, videos or other types of files on its own, so they’re saved to the Lumiose Gym database to be dealt with later.”

Ash gulped nervously. “A-And what happens with those?”

“Oh, well I don’t have the spare time to check them out,” Clemont answered with a smile, “so they get forwarded to my dad.”


End file.
